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Did you miss the Baldavian Olympics?

Pacific sailfish, Istiophorus platypterus, the fastest fish in the world – 68 mph. Photo was taken by Rodrigo Friscione of NOAA –  a public domain image.

El Primer Matchup Olímpico Anual determinó qué pez era el nadador más rápido en el océano.

Translation: The First Annual Olympic Matchup determined which fish was the fastest swimmer in the ocean.

The crowds of onlookers at the opening ceremonies of El Primer Matchup Olímpico Anual held in the small village of Bunkum, just outside the picturesque seaside capital city of Balderdash, Baldavia exceeded the inaugural crowd held for the country’s incoming Commander-in-Chief, El Presidente De Jacques, former Bladavian police Inspector Clouseau De Jacques.

If your country has a pet fish, one out of the currently known 31,500 fish in the world’s oceans, and would like to enter it in the Second Annual Olympics Matchup call your national political administration’s representatives.

Politicians, like ours here in the U. S., probably have nothing to do but think about a wall that will never be built and an impeachment that will never happen – doing things to make “their personal” version of making America great again.

NOTE: There were several “Heats” in the El Primer Matchup Olímpico Anual. Some countries that cheat often, like Putinopia and Iwanenesia, used their best sub-final round heat results as proof of their entrants final rank – not the final “medal” round performance of the Olympics itself. You can find ranking variances via Google.com.

A time when excesses were the norm for the famous and well heeled. American author Ernest Hemingway with his wife Pauline, and sons Gregory, John, and Patrick Hemingway and four marlins on the dock in Bimini, 20 July 1935. Source, Ernest Hemingway Photograph Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston. Photographer not identified – a public domain image.

El Primer Matchup Olímpico Anual Finals:

10. Tarpon35 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 202.8-pounds on 20-pound test, Chassahowitzka, FL – May 2001 

9. Four-Winged Flying Fish36 mph

IGFA does not consider it a game fish.

8. Swordfish38 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 89.15-pounds on 16-pound test, Watamu, Kenya – December 1998

7. Bonefish40 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 16.8-pounds on 20-pound test, New Caledonia – July 2013 

6. Blue Shark43  mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 189-pounds on 12-pound test, Montauk LI, NY – September 1989

5. Bluefin Tuna44 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 196.9-pounds on 20-pound test, Morehead City, NC – January 2001 

Tarpon safe in-water release. Photo provided courtesy of Bonefish & Tarpon Trust.

4. Mako Shark46 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 224.3-pounds on 20-pound test, Sidney, Australia – August 2010

3. Wahoo48 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 77.2-pounds on 20-pound test, Sidney, Australia – August 2010

2. Black Marlin – 50 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 222.10-pounds on 16-pound test, Bank Islands, Vanuatu – February 2016

Striped Marlin50 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 240.15-pounds on 20-pound test, Whangaroa, Australia – March 2013

1. Sailfish68 mph

IGFA World Record on a Fly: 136-pounds on 12-pound test, Piñas Bay, Panama – June 1965 (Stu Apte, Florida Keys Guide and IGFA Fishing Hall of Fame member).

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