Come on in the water is toxic. Photo BullSugar.org.
They’re running out of drinking water in Miami. Not a problem, Gov. Scott will fix it. He signed into law the “toilet-to-tap” bill. Treated sewage will be injected into the Biscayne aquifer.
Oh, the Places Poo Will Go
Governor Scott signed a bill he liked. He wants to blend South Floridians water with their poo.
If you’ve moved here this year it might come as a shock that proposals like this could be lawful, but if you study our past you’ll get used to it fast, and in time it won’t seem quite as awful:
See, the aquifer under Miami is shrinking, and more and more people need water for drinking, but the Everglades river that used to deliver the most is polluting and shooting its discharges back up the coast.
It looks terrible and smells terrible, but if you’re interested, it’s more potent than a cup of hemlock. Try it; you’re not going to like how you feel.
Now, the volume would have to be huge, and of something we’ve got plenty. So the brilliant solution our lawmakers thought of, (the kind of idea that professors thought not of) is replacing those fluids with sewage.
It’s the Florida way, living just for today, it’s okay if the future’s depleted– any damage we do, any debts we accrue, make the next set of taxpayers eat it. There’s more to this story than finding more water for future Floridians’ pools. Our cities are looking to unload their sewage and get around EPA rules.
It’s cheapest to dump it or pump it away or to blend it so sources not be traced, and one Florida industry is placed to help others avoid cleaning up their waste.
The tycoons of sugar know just what to do
They mix all of this poo with the runoff they spew into rivers and marshes and Lake Okeechobee and Everglades waters like Shark River Slough.
And when people complain that this effluent reaches marinas and houses and restaurants and beaches, the industry blames it on septic tank leaches and natural weather and sewer main breaches.
It’s the Florida way, living just for today, it’s okay if the future’s depleted– any damage we do, any debts we accrue, make the next set of taxpayers eat it.
Now your flushed away crap can flow back to your tap, and your fisheries smell like a toilet. And that stuff from your faucet? You may want to toss it, or at least take precautions and boil it.
This coming November you’ve got to remember which candidates voted to make you drink poo
Join Bullsugar.org and help us make Florida’s water management less absurd.
